Essay: Annoying for ENG 1010

Being on fire is annoying.  Most of people have, at one point or another, burned some skin or singed some hair.  I have yet to meet someone who has burned some skin or singed some hair and was happy with the results.  Usually, they’re quite annoyed by this condition.  Now imagine the source of fire being you, yourself.  It’s annoying just thinking about it.

My physical self is not a source of fire, nor was it meant to be.  While I can’t say my body has ever really been the source of a fire, it has hosted a few.  Generally, my body is very comfortable in what has come to be accepted as typical “room temperature” (range of 68°F to 84°F).  Anything outside of this range is usually uncomfortable and can be quite annoying.  Since even the coolest fires average around 1,292°F, this puts me out of my comfort zone and into the annoyed zone.

I’ve heard stories of people who are, allegedly, the source of fires, usually smoldering slowly until the body is burnt to a crisp.  This “spontaneous combustion” has been a mystery for some time.  Nobody really understands it and unfortunately there are rarely, if any, survivors to describe how they are feeling (in fact, they suspect most victims are dead before combustion).  However, by transitive inference, I would imagine most of them would be annoyed, to say the least.  Also, there are historic records of people screaming anxiously while being on fire, most likely to vent their frustration.

While I have had a few brief episodes of being on fire, I’ve never been completely engulfed in flames.  My few instances have involved a small portion of my hair, my shoes and a pant leg.  In each instance, the fire was not only uncomfortable; it proceeded to destroy every article it touched.  As if the temperature weren’t annoying enough, the destruction of person and property conclusively categorizes “being on fire” annoying. 

I can, with certainty, say that I enjoy the state of “not being on fire.”  Not being on fire is much more comfortable and relaxed than the constant, irritable and anxious state of being on fire.